I have to tell you that I was pleasantly surprised at how things went at last week’s graduation of my oldest daughter. My ex and ex-inlaws, and a few ex-friends I wasn’t expecting to see, were there. I am pleased to report that things went well. My husband and I took both my daughters out to dinner the night before, and after the graduation ceremony, I found my graduate first, took some pictures and then we went to find “them.”
I walked right up to my ex-inlaws and greeted them, introduced my husband and he was naturally mature and gracious and they responded in kind. My ex even put out his hand to shake my husband’s hand. The ex-friends looked at me sheepishly (they really cut me off after I left my ex) and I walked over and hugged them. Didn’t talk to them much but this encounter will make next week’s visit to my other daughter’s graduation a little easier, since they will all be there again and my husband will not.
This weekend, my husband’s daughter and her boyfriend are coming for the weekend. They seem fairly serious so this might be “the one.” So many transitions are going on right now. Is it like that for everyone?
We are still job hunting. My husband is looking at jobs everywhere. We originally thought we’d definitely head east but our kids are moving further west, so the need to be on the east coast doesn’t seem quite so important. I was telling a NYC friend about how I was tired of the uncertainty of so many things (and was secretly jealous of her living in NYC for so long) and she said she and her family have lived in the same apartment for 25 years and she would be thrilled to have some uncertainty because her life has been so predictable for so long. She has one more high schooler and then they will have all left home. Her husband is a homebody and she wants to go out and do things. What will they talk about and do when they are left alone?
Today I feel as at ease as I ever feel–being the type who leans towards depression and worry. Things are unfolding and life is moving ahead, as it must. We will find a place to settle. The kids are all spreading their wings. Neither my husband or I have parents left so we don’t have the issues that so many people have who are sandwiched between helping their parents and their own children.
I hope that all of you are riding out your own bumpy paths. Life can be hard but it certainly feels like it is flying by sometimes. What are your challenges? How are you coping?
Wow – you did the best possible things to pave the way on Grad day. Congrats on your maturity.
You ARE in transition! Jobs, home, kids leaving the nest. Yikes. Your entitled to the odd day of wanting to push away decisions and well – just write.
Marilyn,
I am so happy that it turned out nicely for you! I too worried about the same thing last year when my son graduated from high school. I worked to be certain that everything was as nice as it could be for all of us, including a neutral site for the get-together, plenty of room for both families, etc. It too turned out much better than I thought that it might, given our history. Perhaps there is hope for all of us, after all. To quote a line from a favorite movie of mine (Something To Talk About), “Someday maybe we’ll all be good grown-ups.” Some of us are there already, some of us have a ways to go, but there’s always hope. At least I have to keep hoping…for my son especially.
Thanks for sharing with us!